[oh, now she's pissed, she goes to grab one of the dishes... before calming herself down and just leaving it there.]
...Yes. It was when I first saw Kaito here that I felt conflicted. Because... here he was. Just walking around. Talking to people. Acting like an ordinary person. Giving little thought, if any, to the killing game. He was no longer following a script and was free to be himself. Moreover, he was completely trusting of me. He didn't think anyone could've been 'the mastermind'. --He didn't care anymore. He had moved on.
After witnessing that, that's when guilt started to gnaw at me.
That's when I started confiding and reaching out to people I trusted. Hearing their judgments. Tsuruno-chan nearly cried but accepted I felt remorse. Ritsuka gave me a dekopin. Minato-kun... well, he took it in stride without too much judgment and trusted me that I'd find my own answer. That's just the kind of person he is.
[a deep breath]
Finally, I decided it was too much. A cloud was hanging between you, Kaito, and me. I could either ride it and never say anything or push through it. So... I decided to push through.
And now, here we are. That's my evolution. Not as dramatic or sudden as a pokemon's, but it happened.
You're right. You haven't been here for months. You haven't dealt with the really tough stuff here. Like becoming a zombie and eating other people's brains. Obviously, this is fresh in your mind. A lot more than mine and Kaito's.
I know it's a lot. Take some time and process this. I'm not saying "let's walk away as friends," but I am saying "let's walk away."
[ Maybe he will have a snack. Jury's still out on whether or not he's about to clean up the mess he made. He's had a very rough evening, after all. He can't be held accountable for his reaction!
He's very unsure about how he feels right now, however... other than sick. That he knows for sure. Anything else is still a muddy ball of unpleasant feelings that he doesn't know what to do with. So for now, he'll just sulk alone and marinate in this terrible feeling. ]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2023-02-18 04:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-02-18 05:05 am (UTC)Momota-chan?? You gave him a disease and watched him die.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-18 05:30 am (UTC)[oh, now she's pissed, she goes to grab one of the dishes... before calming herself down and just leaving it there.]
...Yes. It was when I first saw Kaito here that I felt conflicted. Because... here he was. Just walking around. Talking to people. Acting like an ordinary person. Giving little thought, if any, to the killing game. He was no longer following a script and was free to be himself. Moreover, he was completely trusting of me. He didn't think anyone could've been 'the mastermind'. --He didn't care anymore. He had moved on.
After witnessing that, that's when guilt started to gnaw at me.
That's when I started confiding and reaching out to people I trusted. Hearing their judgments. Tsuruno-chan nearly cried but accepted I felt remorse. Ritsuka gave me a dekopin. Minato-kun... well, he took it in stride without too much judgment and trusted me that I'd find my own answer. That's just the kind of person he is.
[a deep breath]
Finally, I decided it was too much. A cloud was hanging between you, Kaito, and me. I could either ride it and never say anything or push through it. So... I decided to push through.
And now, here we are. That's my evolution. Not as dramatic or sudden as a pokemon's, but it happened.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-18 05:35 am (UTC)[ Whatever smart or snide retort he might have had catches in his throat and he instead swallows it back down.
She's right... maybe she does feel remorse. And yet... he's still mad. He can't bring himself to forgive her.
Not yet. ]
And all the people you hurt? The people you killed and let take the fall for you.. Are you sorry for them too?
no subject
Date: 2023-02-18 05:48 am (UTC)Including you.
...Especially you.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-18 06:04 am (UTC)What? Me?
But all I did was get in your way and ruin your game.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-18 06:07 am (UTC)[now she just grips her head, feeling a tension headache.]
What part of "I regret running the killing game and would take it all back if I could," did you not understand?
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Date: 2023-02-18 06:10 am (UTC)[ he pauses. ]
Do you at least know if anyone survived..?
no subject
Date: 2023-02-18 06:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-02-18 06:23 am (UTC)[ he seems to have calmed down at least, but he still finds just enough energy to lazily throw a bundled up set of silverware at her. ]
I'm glad I ruined it.
But why especially me? Momota-chan was hurt way worse than I was.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-18 06:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-02-18 06:30 am (UTC)Fine. I'll let it go. But o ly on one condition:
The next time you die, I get to be the one to do it.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-18 06:34 am (UTC)[she starts to turn to go, before looking at him.]
Move on, Kokichi. I am.
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Date: 2023-02-18 06:38 am (UTC)[ He narrows his eyes at her. ]
You don't get to just do that and expect everything to be okay just like that. Why an I the bad guy here?
no subject
Date: 2023-02-18 06:42 am (UTC)Gonta is dead. We're all dead.
...I'd say maybe that's why Shuuichi isn't here, but that's plain wishful thinking.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-18 02:28 pm (UTC)[ well isn't that just a punch in the gut?
He pauses but finally lets a smirk creep onto his face. ]
If that's the case.. that means I was right all along. When I first came here.. I wondered if you were dead. I was right.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-18 09:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-02-19 03:35 am (UTC)At least give me the satisfaction of gloating. Just because you got over this shit months ago doesn't mean I can join you there right away, you know.
Why am I expected to just put it behind me? You can't just say "sorry" and expect everything to be okay after all of that shit!!
no subject
Date: 2023-02-19 03:49 am (UTC)I know it's a lot. Take some time and process this. I'm not saying "let's walk away as friends," but I am saying "let's walk away."
no subject
Date: 2023-02-19 03:54 am (UTC)[ He's going to have to think about it... maybe talk to Kaito about it. He hates this. ]
Well I hope you feel better, because I feel like shit.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-19 04:08 am (UTC)["And you clean up the broken shit," she doesn't say.]
no subject
Date: 2023-02-19 04:14 am (UTC)[ Maybe he will have a snack. Jury's still out on whether or not he's about to clean up the mess he made. He's had a very rough evening, after all. He can't be held accountable for his reaction!
He's very unsure about how he feels right now, however... other than sick. That he knows for sure. Anything else is still a muddy ball of unpleasant feelings that he doesn't know what to do with. So for now, he'll just sulk alone and marinate in this terrible feeling. ]